A century later, a blue man group impersonator lights his farts on fire from the top deck of a Toronto Blue Jays game. Successful prophecy! Or, 200 years later, a slightly taller than average five foot 11, rapper from the East coast with a feather in his hat spits flames into the mic but mixes in elements of the blues. All are successful prophecies! Followers of each of them claim that the rest are blasphemous.
When fortune tellers get too specific, they wind up embarrassing themselves, like these Russian psychics who said that the dead serial killer, civilian Ted Bundy was a really nice, military man – alive and well. And let’s not forget all of the pastors who predicted events like the end of the world on a specific date and have always failed. Like when Jesus said that he would return while his disciples were still alive.
“Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”Matthew 16:28
Prophecies that remain open-ended about vague events almost always come true given billions of people, thousands of years, and hundreds of trillions of life events. The earliest full gospels that we have weren’t written until at least a hundred years after Jesus’ death. When you’re writing a story after the fact and have an entire book filled with vague, potential “prophecies” to cherry pick, you can make it look like everything was predicted!
Heck, you don’t even have to be writing a fictional story. You can take anyone’s life and make it fit a book of prophecies. Don’t believe me? I bet I can prove that Nostradamus predicted that Kim Kardashian’s butt would go viral on the internet.
The heart of the lover, awakened by furtive love
Will ravish the lady in the stream.
She will pretend bashfully to be half injured.
The father of each will deprive the body of its soul.Century 4 Quatrain 25 (Nostradamus)
“The lady in the stream” is clearly talking about people “streaming” Kim K.’s sex tape online. “She pretends to be half injured” refers to her acting upset that it was leaked, damaging her reputation, but in all actuality, it spring boarded her career. “The father of each” is clearly talking about Tim Berners Lee the father of the internet – where both reside on a regular basis. Because of it, those captivated with her badonkadonk have no lives, and her life as she once knew it is no more, as she’s now followed everywhere by the soulless paparazzi.
Nostradamus wrote 942 vaguely worded, cryptic quatrains that are a gold mine for doomsday preachers and nutty believers in prophecy. Just imagine what you can do, and what has been done with the monstrously larger Old Testament! You can use it to retroactively “predict” anything or claim that it predicts something about you (after you do it in order to fulfill the prophecy of course) – this is what many cult leaders and new religions have done and still do. And why we’re not impressed when we read that Jesus did something specifically to fulfill a prophecy.
Every religion claims that it has successful prophecies, but, like Nostradamus, the Aztecs, and your local fortune teller, there’s absolutely no reason to trust prophecy and every reason to laugh. If fortunetellers or prophets could see the future. You better believe that every government on the planet would have a psychic warfare division (Minority Report style) preventing every terrorist attack ever plotted. But we don’t. You know why? Because there’s no such thing as prophecy. We can make calculated predictions and educated guesses about the future, but no one knows exactly what the future holds, and if anyone tells you differently, guard your wallet, and don’t drink the Koolaid.
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