David Wolfe Exposed

David Avocado Wolfe Exposed


David Wolfe: Greetings guests. Or fellow cult members. Londinium is actually 12 feet below the city of London, and the reason is because the earth is growing. The heliocentric model’s a nightmare. Complete garbage. Chocolate lines up planitarily with the sun. 3 ½ hours of inversion a day will cure you of anything and turn you into an immortal.

Thomas Westbrook: David Avocado Wolfe is an anti-vaxx, pseudo-science promoting, flat-earth conspiracy theorist hippie with 12 million Facebook likes. Speaking at massive gatherings around the world, he represents just the tip of the anti-science/alternative-medicine iceberg. He runs a multi-million-dollar business promoting untested remedies and new age woo. And although he comes across as a friendly, harmless Sideshow Bob of a raw-food-eating teddy bear spreading happy-flappy little memes, the truth gets pretty dark. Thomas Westbrook: So you’re scrolling through Facebook when you see a meme like this… or this. Pretty innocuous, right? And then BAM! he hits you out of nowhere with a quote from some apparent herbalist “quack” encouraging people not to seek medical treatment for cancer. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, N.D. might as well stand for “Not Doctor,” since naturopaths are NOT medically licensed. A quick Google search of the person quoted in this meme reveals an eccentric fruit loop listed in the Encyclopedia of American Loons as an “Utterly ridiculous crank with the crackpot’s delusions of grandeur.” To quote Messianic Manic, “This is a meme that could literally kill someone!”

Thomas Westbrook: Or here’s another one: “The person who takes medicine must recover twice, once from the disease, and once from the medicine.” – I’d rather recover twice than not at all, you dip!

David Wolfe: If we run deficient in earth energy, then our thyroid starts going, “Woah, something’s wrong here!” One of the things that the Yogis recommended is that you get your neck right flat on the ground so you can touch the electricity of the earth right there to your neck so you can get those electrons flowing right into your thyroid. It’s actually been found – if you ground yourself to the earth, you have got to cut your thyroid medication.

Thomas Westbrook: Don’t stop taking your thyroid medicine. This fro-puppy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Despite vaccines eradicating smallpox and almost entirely wiping out polio, Wolfe is also a known anti-vaxxer.

David Wolfe: I’ve known all along that vaccines are a scam. The whole thing’s a scam.

Thomas Westbrook: But what does Wolfe propose as an effective alternative to vaccines?

David Wolfe: We’re going to, um, take your urine and we’re going to give you a urine vaccine… A urine vaccine! Right? Which is, by the way, the most powerful vaccine of all. And it’s very effective at controlling cancer. And if you vaccinated yourself with your first clear urine each day – the mid-stream of it each day – as we did at Dr. Hitt’s clinic under medical supervision. You don’t have to do medical supervision. The way… what we do is we teach people how to do it so they can do it at home.

Thomas Westbrook: You heard the man. A urine vaccine!

David Wolfe: It has to go into your fat tissue. Your… like in your butt.

Thomas Westbrook: David, what exactly are your credentials for offering advice like this? Are you a world-renowned medical doctor? A dietitian? Have you published any groundbreaking studies in respectable, peer-reviewed medical journals?

David Wolfe: I’m not into doctors and hospitals. Let me ask you this, Tim. For $100,000 would you lay out here naked with us?

Tim: Oh, I’m sorry did you say something, Avocado? Woah!

Thomas Westbrook: He’s a wannabe reality TV star who studied to be a lawyer, but became an infomercial salesman instead.

TV Commercial Voice: With the Nutribullet you can turn ordinary food into superfood!

Thomas Westbrook: How does he not get sued for offering medical advice without a license?

David Wolfe: Just for the system: this is a spiritual gathering, on a church, on Sunday. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!

Thomas Westbrook: So he slaps a quick disclaimer on it, hides under the shield of religious freedom, and is good to go? Whether you’re religious or not, that should piss you off!

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Thomas Westbrook: But why exactly does Wolfe-boy not want us to seek medical treatment? Go figure: he’s selling an alternative. Let’s take a look at a couple of his products shall we?

David Wolfe: Got a cool little gadget to introduce. Boom! The Longevity Zapper!

Thomas Westbrook: The Longevity Zapper is a wonky little taser-trinket. He claims that this cheap chunk of plastic targets negative bacteria, and he’s hawking it for $400! Good god! Wolfe alludes to the claim that it cures cancer and increases your lifespan, while simultaneously admitting for legal purposes that it doesn’t. Here’s another one: Ormus Gold. It’s marketed as a potential miracle cure that according to testimonials, may even possess anti-aging characteristics! While simultaneously including the following obligatory legal disclaimer: “The products and the claims made about specific products on or through this site have not been evaluated by the United States Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent disease.

Thomas Westbrook: Now for legal reasons, I’m not saying outright that David Avocado Wolfe is a con-man. But this sly degree of doublespeak really reeks of snake oil. Whether he’s just an ignorant nut job or a deliberate con artist, telling people to stop taking scientifically tested, life-saving medical treatments is wrong!

Thomas Westbrook: Last week, after Avocado opened up his Facebook page for reviews – like any honest business should do – within hours, it was flooded with over 5,000 1-star reviews. People are pissed. I’m proud to say I was one of them. Did he respond by answering them or issuing refunds, changing his product line, or issuing a public apology? Nope! Instead, he disabled the review feature and hid the reviews section from his Facebook page. That’s a little dishonest!

Thomas Westbrook: Veggie-man loves to play the role of the poor, nature-dwelling little guy going up against Big Pharma. But you dig a little bit deeper, and this slimy two-face is filthy rich!

David Wolfe: Google has been near and dear to my heart because the first day that the stock came out, I bought it. Check this out. I made so much money on it I bought a house. I’m the wealthiest hippie on earth. I probably am. I’ve made more money than most anybody’s made in their life.

Thomas Westbrook: He rails against the system and big businesses while simultaneously running a multi-million-dollar company and selling a cheap hunk of low-voltage plastic to indebted cancer patients for $400 a pop! Wooo!

Thomas Westbrook: If you’re as ticked off about all this as I am, then here’s a quick mashup of some of the ridiculous claims put forth by this nut-quacker. Next time you see one of his memes floating around, you should share this. Hey Avocado, you ready for some guacamole?

David Wolfe: As far as I’m concerned – my study of this – the heliocentric model’s a nightmare. Complete garbage!

David Wolfe: Patrick Flanagan turned me on to flat earth, actually. Dr. Flanagan – one of the greatest scientists in the world – believed to be Nikola Tesla reincarnated actually.

David Wolfe: You know you can gauge someone’s commitment to truth and justice and beauty and love by their openness to flat earth.

David Wolfe: Londinium is actually 12 feet below the city of London. Why is it down there? How come it’s not up there? Or how come it’s not at the same level as us? And the reason is ‘cause the earth is growing.

David Wolfe: Chocolate lines up planetarily with the sun. Chocolate is an octave of sun-energy. It’s the energy of the center of the sun. It’s a male energy that comes down off the sun. Actually, out of all the plants, the cacao is right on line targeted at the center of the sun which we call, in our body, the heart. And actually, cacao’s right up with the center of the sun which is the center of the heart which is called the “sacred heart.”

Portlandia: Cacao!

David Wolfe: You don’t learn about the Kumbhaka! You don’t learn about the systems of breathing – the Yoga Pranayamas – that can get you to breatharianism, where you take one breath an hour. That book teaches it.

David Wolfe: Nothing extends life longer than charcoal.

David Wolfe: 3 ½ hours of inversion a day will cure you of anything and turn you into an immortal. You will never age, nothing.

David Wolfe: In terms of planetary alchemy, what you want to use to bounce off the cacao – ‘cause it’s an alchemical process – you need something that’s coming up with the earth force. Or we call it the “Ormus.” An energy that moves out of the earth towards the sun – that’s “Ormus.” If you become loaded with Ormus, all the cosmic energies come right into you. ‘Cause it wants to mate with you. ‘Cause it wants to mate with you.

David Wolfe: Greetings guests. Or fellow cult members. Let’s get naked.

Woman’s voice: Woo Avo!

David Wolfe: And if we’re really working with the teachings of the kundalini and all that stuff and yoga, we want to bring that energy, that sexual energy, bring it up so we can activate genius. Activate genius!

Man: God, what a numb nut!

David Wolfe: Gravity is a toxin. It is, ‘cause eventually you’re going to go like this: chkckckckckckchkkk! You’re going to turn into Yoda.

David Wolfe: In a desert climate, it’s more important to have salt, because you can get, your body is like wanting to evaporate up into the heavens. So therefore you need more salt to hold the everything on the earth. The reason why the oceans are salty is that’s what’s needed to hold the water onto the earth. If that didn’t happen, the water would levitate right off the earth. That would be the end of it.

David Wolfe: Gravity is not intrinsic to matter. That Carl Sagan idea that was sold to us on “Cosmos” on PBS was sold to us deliberately to actually confuse us, just so you know that. There’s people who have known that gravity is a force that can be displaced. There’s people that have known that since the 50’s, or even earlier than that. By screwing up, confusing our mind about these things, and giving us incorrect theories, we were brainwashed into a totally different belief system. That gravity is intrinsic to all matter, we’re fighting gravity, we have to push our way through gravity to launch a craft up into outer space, all this nonsense.

David Wolfe: You know it goes on and on. Chemicals from industry. Chemicals from planes. Chemicals from water. All of it.

David Wolfe: You know, let me sage you. It just blows all the negative spirits out.

Woman: Okay.

David Wolfe: So it just keeps the energy clean in the, in the space.

David Wolfe: I’ve been studying the people who are running the world for a very long time. You know. I grew up with David Icke. I mean. I’ve been reading that stuff since I was a kid.

Thomas Westbrook: That’s right – the same David Icke who wrote a book about how the government is run by reptilian overlord lizard-people!

David Wolfe: Mushroom spores have been found at every altitude of the earth, because they can levitate off the planet. Because they’re surrounded by a shell of Ormus! Which actually is trying to get to the center of the sun! Occasionally, it gets slingshotted right off the center of the sun, and gets propelled out into the solar system. And then eventually gets slingshotted out across the galaxy. Like the way we do our satellites. And so mushrooms are, in fact, not from here. They’re from somewhere else. They came here. They rode in on the cosmic wind.

David Wolfe: We think we’re the only intelligence. We think we’re the only ones who have any kind of consciousness, whatsoever. And those reishis (mushrooms) in the forest can think. They do contain neurotransmitters. And therefore they can interact with you in a way that is telepathic! And this is also true with your pets! I mean, come on! You do know that your pets are telepathically in communion with you?

David Wolfe: Energies are flowing into the cosmos or flowing out of the earth and up and they’re being concentrated in certain substances, like a deer’s antler. So when you take a deer antler product, that’s not some joke. That’s not some like, “oh we’re taking this supplement now.” That’s a very deeply intuitive read that many, many sages in the history of our planet tuned into and were like, “That’s where the prana is concentrated, right there.” Deer antler is not a product; it’s a cosmic substance.

Thomas Westbrook: Harvesting deer antlers? To anyone who’s not familiar with the poaching of endangered rhinos by asshats selling rhino horns as aphrodisiacs to mindless science illiterates – minus the endangered species bit, this is eerily similar.

David Wolfe: The reason why they’re so upset at me is because what I’m going after is their religion – their atheistic, scientismic religion.

Thomas Westbrook: Right? Aside from the fact that atheism isn’t a religion, I would have gone after you when I was still a Christian if I had known who you were. I really don’t think you’re giving religious people enough credit here, David. Atheists aren’t the only ones who dislike snake oil salesmen, and I’d be really surprised if my religious friends didn’t share this video, too.

Thomas Westbrook: Now, in defense of Wolfe, one of his former coworkers wrote: “Our current government? They’re selling us hate. The media? They’re selling us fear. And our food system is selling us addiction and poison. And when we’re unhealthy, we’re nothing. We can’t do anything with broken, bloated bodies we hate. Fortunately, it’s the one thing we have the ability to transform right now. Right this second. But many of us need a cheering squad. We need support. We’ve got no one left to turn to for hope except the healer and the showman.

Thomas Westbrook: Do you mean “the quack and the salesman”? What about the scientists and the inventors or the social workers who actually make the world better? I’m not buying your BS. I get where you’re coming from. People want hope. They need encouragement. Which is why I’m offering a new product line at Holy Koolaid – the Miracle Line! These mugs and shirts have undergone the blessing of an Eastern guru! Their electrical energies are positively charged – meaning they only kill the bad bacteria and viruses! They’ve been reported to cure cancer, regrow limbs, activate your genius, extend your life, and even make your farts smell like roses!

Satisfied Customer 1: “I was diagnosed with cancer last year but after wearing my miracle shirt every day and 6 months of chemo, it completely went away!”

Satisfied Customer 2: “Within five years of buying a miracle mug, I received a raise at my job.”

Thomas Westbrook: It practically sells itself! So what are you waiting for? Go get you some miracle merch. It cures cancer as effectively as homeopathy.

Thomas Westbrook: The products and the claims made about specific products on or through this site have not been evaluated by the United States Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent disease.

Thomas Westbrook: Avocado, I’m not disconnected from your alternative reality. I literally spent a month last year living at new-age wellness center, trying to keep an open mind and to see what it was all really about. And most of it was harmless if not positive – encouraging healthy eating, meditation, dancing, exercise, time outdoors in the fresh air and sunlight. I’m 100% behind all of those things. Some sicknesses can and should be prevented, but when you start appealing to spiritual woo and alternative medicine, and telling other people to avoid life-saving, scientifically-tested medical treatment and vaccines, then I have a HUGE problem with it. Offer people hope, but don’t offer them false hope to line your own pockets. Science provides cures that work and demands that they be tested. Pseudoscientific snake oil products hide behind a veneer of unproven claims and anecdotes and deliberately remain unproven.

Thomas Westbrook: If you can really stand behind your whack-funk products, David, get them tested by the FDA in a double-blind clinical trial, and I will be the first in line to use them when they hit the shelves.

Thomas Westbrook: To everyone else, don’t be fooled by this Wolfe in sheep’s clothing hiding behind pearly whites and swimming in Deepak Chopra levels of word salad. Just because he offers too-good-to-be-true products that “activate genius,” and let you live forever, and sells miracles that allegedly cure cancer doesn’t make the claims true. A polished turd labeled a filet mignon is still a turd. But I guess if we’re so dumb as a culture that we’ll guzzle a bag of Tide pods, the people chugging deer antler extract at $75 a bottle really shouldn’t surprise us.

Thomas Westbrook: David Wolfe appeals to the conspiratorial mindset, telling people that medicine is harmful and instilling them with a distrust and fear of modern medicine with black and white labels like “Big Pharma Is Evil.”

David Wolfe: There is no question that Big Pharma is controlled by satanic, sociopathic maniacs, and they fanatically control governments vis-a-vis Big Pharma.

Thomas Westbrook: No, I don’t blindly trust everything that pharmaceutical companies say, nor do I think that we know everything there is to know about nutrition yet. But the answer to gaps in our understanding is MORE science and testing, not less! Of course our medical system has room for improvement, but at least when your doctor prescribes you a cure that’s FDA approved, you know it’s undergone and passed a rigorous standard of testing. Avocado’s alternatives boldly state that they’ve avoided this testing altogether. He smears pharmaceutical companies while completely ignoring the fact that billions of dollars are being spent by organizations around the globe on cancer research – the kind of research that has led to multiple breakthroughs in treatment including genetic specific treatments and early detection methods that have helped lead to a 26% drop in cancer death rates in the US from 1991 to 2015. Facts are not relative! Either something works or it doesn’t. Kale and broccoli are good for you, but they’re not an effective alternative to cancer treatments. Alternative medicines (like homeopathy) are an alternative to medicine in the same way that death is an alternative to medicine. If you’re as sick of quacks like this as I am, the next time you see someone spread one of David Wolfe’s memes, share this video in the comments below it. And if you want to support my show, I’m putting links to my Miracle Product Line in the description below. The products won’t cure cancer, but they will make a statement. Or you can support my work on Patreon. Don’t cry Wolfe. And don’t drink his Koolaid!

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Is David Avocado Wolfe the most successful snake oil salesman on earth? David Wolfe is an anti-vaxx, flat-earth, conspiracy theorist, hippie with 12 million Facebook likes who's opposed to modern medicine. He's a controversial celebrity spokesman for many alternative medicine products including deer antler extract, the Longevity Zapper, Ormus Gold and many other pseudoscientific products, and he's about to be exposed!

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